Today is the day we celebrate moms. And while it seems it might be about cards and flowers and brunches, it’s really about celebrating the person who has a tremendous influence over our lives.
I am so lucky you are my mother. I didn’t always feel that way, of course. There were times when I wished you were more or different or other; but as I’ve grown up and become a mother I’ve come to understand that anyone else wouldn’t have been you.
You weren’t the perfect mom. Oh, you baked and cooked and cleaned like the cliche “perfect mom”, but you had flaws, too.
And thank you for having them.
You taught me it was okay to be an imperfect mom.
You were the mom who taught me compassion, to love freely and without condition and to live and embrace without judgement.
In this judgemental world, that’s a tremendous gift.
And when my daughter came along 17 years ago, I worked to bestow on her the gifts you gave to me.
She’s not perfect either. And she knows it’s okay to be imperfect, too.
Today on Mother’s Day I reflect on the woman who gave me not only life but pure love and the ability to believe in myself. There were times the role you took in comforting me was reversed; the final of those moments was when I held your hand as you slipped from this world seven years ago.
But even when you left the world, you didn’t really as your legacy lives on in me and in your granddaughter, who is both remarkably like me and completely different, much like you and I.
I miss you every day. I miss our twice weekly phone calls. And even after all these years there are times I forget you are gone.
When you died I slipped a letter under the pillow where you laid your head for your final rest; it contained all my love and gratitude, as I wanted you to go wherever you were going knowing that you went there loved. I believe you did, even when I was an imperfect daughter who struggled to express it.
I wish you’d had more time with my daughter. I wish you’d had more time with me. I just wish you’d had more time at all.
But in the end I am just so grateful for all you were and all you did and the time I had with you and all of you that still lives on in the children you raised. You made a difference in the world.
You made every difference to me.
Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.